How to Stop Hiding From Yourself
Updated: Feb 13, 2022
Some patterns are easy to break, others are more challenging. When I was younger, I had no idea what my patterns were. I was moving through life unconsciously. But as I got older, I began to witness myself and got to know my patterns.
I had a lot of great habits: I was a hard worker, committed and strong. But at the same time, I had a lot of habits that didn’t serve me: I was a people pleaser, held a lot of things inside, and coped by over-eating, over-exercising and drinking to numb myself.
I felt lonely much of the time, even though I had friends. I felt uncomfortable in relationships with others and uncomfortable with myself. I had no idea how to be present and connect. I wanted to feel close to people and shift the habits that weren’t serving me, but I didn’t know how.
I tried to “fight” and “force” myself to be the way I thought I "should” be and to feel the way I thought I should feel ~ smiling my way through life. I tried to make my habits go away by sheer force, but my efforts were short-lived.
I look back at that younger version of myself and I want to give that girl a big hug…she was trying her best. I am grateful for all that I have gone through, but also grateful to be where I am now ~ owning my 53-year-old self!!!
So how did I heal from all my “habits”? I have done so many things over the years, but it comes down to this.
I stopped hiding from myself. I stopped pretending. And I began to shed light on all the things I was doing to “keep myself down.”
I started to understand the reasons why I was doing what I was doing, which helped. But what really started to "fast-forward" my transformation was cultivating a consistent daily Sadhana (aka spiritual practice). My Sadhana consists of meditation, Himalayan breathwork and Kriya (repetitive breath and mantra practices that rewire the brain and heal the nervous system).
What do I mean by solid? I mean an every single day sit with myself! I have had a consistent practice for the last 8 years and boy, what a difference it makes.
Prior to this, I had a consistent in-studio vinyasa practice, which was amazing, but for me it wasn’t enough. I was still engaging in habits that weren’t serving me. I had no idea how to be in my own space when no one else was around without “checking out.”
Having a daily “sit” with myself over the last 8 years has been key for my healing: I have learned to tolerate being in my own space and even enjoy it!
Cultivating a daily practice is an act of self devotion and love. It is what I love supporting people in doing. Just the simple act of showing up for yourself daily will make a huge impact on your self worth.
What will I teach you to do? Meditate - but what this looks like will depend on you. When we start working together, I will spend time talking with you and then come up with a practice that will help you to drop into a space of silence. Most likely it will include a kriya or two.
Kriya has been one of the main tools that has helped me and so many others I have taught. Kriya is so powerfully healing because the repetitive breath and mantra shift your nervous system and your brain chemistry. With consistent practice you can begin to “turn on” your prefrontal cortex (your higher functioning brain). You will also start to shift the neuro-chemical environment in your brain - creating serotonin and dopamine - hormones that produce positive feeling states.
Kriya and meditation also shift your brain waves. With consistent practice you drop out of the Beta brain waves (stress brain waves) and turn on the alpha and theta waves (relaxation waves). I have spent the last 8 years studying these practices (not only by traveling to India multiple times to learn them, but by actually doing them myself and having an experience with them). It is my experience that keeps bringing me back to these practices and inspires me to share with you!
But don't take my word for it, try it for yourself!!!!
Schedule an appointment with me! I will teach you a practice that will be specifically designed to meet your needs!!!
AND Stay tuned for my upcoming kriya-based programs that will be targeted at helping you release patterns that aren't serving you so that you can align to finner stability and peace.
Goodbye for now my friends and always reach out if you need support.